I’ve got a secret I’m keeping from myself - Focus Your Thinking

I’ve got a secret I’m keeping from myself


When does Fear show up?

As children, we often say “I’ve got a secret”. As adults this continues as we all have secrets that we keep from work colleagues, friends and even loved ones we don’t tell them everything.

But I am talking about a secret that is goes much deeper, this secret we keep from ourselves. So when we say “I’ve got a secret” are we really saying it ourselves? I have my own opinion on this.

What I am talking about is FEAR, when we have situations or an incident happens to us and it strikes so deep that we say to ourselves “That is never going to happen ever again” then that becomes a fear.

Now when we say this to ourselves, do you think it is going to be very specific as to what is going to never happen again? I don’t think so, we have all these emotions bubbling around and we think in the broadest sense, because the pain is still fresh.

For example, say that you start a business and you thought this business was a real possibility to be the one that will make you your fortune. The business does not take off and you say those words again “this is never going to happen ever again”. You just don’t say that for this specific scenario you say that for all businesses ever again till the end of time.


Lets look at what happens from what seems a simple situation in business that happened many years ago for this person.

To ensure that this scenario doesn’t happen ever again, you need to bury this deep in your Subconscious mind to ensure you don’t make that mistake ever again. If the Conscious mind was to decide that this was not to happen ever again, it can't be trusted to remember. It needs to be at that next level down so it happens automatically without even thinking.

To explain the difference, let's say that the Subconscious is for the Automated actions and the Conscious is for the Manual actions.

If you want the FEAR to be automated you hand it over to the Subconscious to ensure this happens.

Whenever you want to change any of these actions, then the Conscious steps in and reviews what has been set and make changes, then hands it back to the Subconscious to make it happen automatically.

Sounds simple hey, but the trigger to make this automated is deeply entrenched into emotions, with deep emotions these fears are quickly transferred to the Subconscious. Reviewing these in the Conscious happens rarely, because there has to be good reasons to make changes. The emotions need to be sure that you’re not going to be hurt again and that fear will come up again.

Now this is where you're SECRET comes in, the secret is between your Subconscious and your Conscious mind.

Are you starting to see why when you are asked in business why you are doing something that is ineffective and you say, “I don’t know?” the reasons are more obvious how this can happen?

You have just tapped into the secret that has been kept to ensure that fear doesn’t hurt you again. How many secrets are trapped inside?

Now that you understand how the secret is created and how the secret is maintained between the Subconscious and the Conscious Minds you can now be more specific with the FEAR and ensure that a specific scenario doesn’t happen again.

Circling back to the example of Business failure, what was the specific reason? In this case it was not having enough finance to keep the business idea going, so they ran out of money and got into too much debt before the idea could be realised. It was a good idea and given 6 more months it would have taken off.

Lesson from the example

There was not enough planning on how long the idea would take to make money and how much that would have cost. If they had done this they could have gotten financially to cover this.

They were not a failure in all business just in 2 specific areas;

  • 1
    Planning how to take concept to earn revenue
  • 2
    Financing in idea, concept stage
overcoming fear

Action Steps

A. What has been holding you back in business? Look for the deeper reasons and do you have a secret you are not telling yourself?

B. Write down what fears you have in general terms for your business.

C. Explore those fears and be specific, is that fear going to happen in your current business. If yes, how do I ensure it will not? If no then stop placing any more energy into things that won't happen.

D. The last check is to be always asking the question when you are procrastinating or staling to move forward what could be my secret in this scenario?