You naturally rationalise and justify feelings, instead of how you actually feel.
Language is great to be able to explain what we have done; it can also be a trap to stay where you are instead of moving forward.
Unless you have described your feelings many times the first words you think of will not make sense at all. As a human you don't like that you want to make sense and not sound like an idiot so you rationalise the emotion into something that will make sense when it comes out of my mouth.
So trying to rationalise why we say and do things can be a hindrance.
How do you feel?
Here is the problem. If the way you feel comes from an emotion, then it becomes difficult to describe in words, how do I describe how I feel in words they just don’t do it justice.
How does this relate to our Personal Growth?
Well, people who truly want to grow are in touch with their feelings. That gut feeling of what to do that will satisfy you in your personal growth, it isn’t a rational way of thinking. It runs off instinct to know the right decisions to take.
The structure or process of making decisions is much easier to understand once you realise what you do unconsciously.
Paul MacLean’s explains his theory of the "Triune Brain",
It's the most efficient model for understanding your brain in terms of its evolutionary history. According to his theory, there are three distinct brains that emerged successively in the course of evolution and now co-inhabit the human skull.
The 3 brains are:
- 1Physical Instinct Reptilian – the oldest of the three, controls the body’s vital functions such as heart rate, breathing, body temperature and balance.
- 2Emotional Paleomammalian (Limbic) – It can record memories of behaviours that produced agreeable and disagreeable experiences, so it is responsible for what are called emotions in human beings. Responsible for emotional and motivational actions.
- 3Logical Neomammalian (Neocortex) – responsible for the development of human language, abstract thought, imagination, and consciousness. The neocortex is flexible and has almost infinite learning abilities.
This is helpful as it explains what is behind our thinking. Essentially showing the difference between logical decisions (Neocortext) and emotionally decisions (Limbic) feeling part of the brain. The type of decisions can make the distinction between acting quickly and decisively or getting stuck.
These three parts of the brain do not operate independently of one another. They have established numerous interconnections through which they influence one another. The neural pathways from the limbic system to the cortex, for example, are especially well developed.
If something sounds stupid, it’s probably because it’s not logical. You can start to realise if it's an instinct and coming from the Emotional brain. It is an emotion and a core feeling, you will find yourself saying “that sounds stupid and why would you be doing that.”
If it is a bad habit, we need to say it out loud to realise why we are doing it. By keeping it in will keep hiding the effect and not resolve the bad habit. Once we voice it and don’t feel guilty because it sounds stupid, then we can move forward.
The good habit that sound stupid when you say it out loud are the ones that will have a good feeling attached to them, it's your gut feeling about the situation. Getting closer to understanding the difference is your path to making more decisive decisions.
Changing this behaviour and bad habits can be difficult. The way to improve or change this behaviour quickly is to have some coaching to change your perspective. I offer 3 different 12-week coaching introduction programs to help in this way.
- 1Mental Refresh for Business Change – If you are making changes to your business and in old tired routines. I go through a proven formula to speed up the process of change to the new focus mentally.
- 2Transforming Stuck and Unmotivated mental habits – This program will have you change your perspective on each and every issue that causes you to be stuck in that slump. Show you how to trigger your inner motivational drive so you can be motivated all the time.
- 3Business Direction, Changing your mental patterns – If your business was focused one way and now that has changed you will have old subconscious habits that are holding you back. Clean them out completely and move on the path of your new vision.